my freaking. awesome. life.

Can someone please tell me when cannibalism got so trendy? God dammit, I just went vegan! If I had known eating another human’s face, or dismembering and eating parts of my boyfriend were gonna be the summer fad, maybe I would have just given up dairy!

Seriously though, what the fuck is happening in the world today? Between the crazy homeless Florida guy eating another man’s face and the whole Luka Magnotta fiasco, you’d think you would have seen it all when it comes to cannibal stories. But there’s one more story that seemed to fly a little under the radar. And this one grosses me out the most.

According to a Huffington Post article, A Japanese chef by the name of Mao Sugiyama cooked and served his own genitalia (testicles, penis, and scrotum) to 5 willing diners. These patrons not only knew they were feasting on some stranger’s junk, but they also forked over $250 a plate to do so! I mean, first of all: 5 people splitting one man’s penis is not worth even close to $250. I don’t care what the guy was packing, there’s no way that’s gonna fill five people up. And the chef’s Japanese, so let’s face it… the odds are stacked against him. The garnish must have looked like a side salad.

Chef Mao describes himself as being asexual, which is why he had elective surgery to detach his Man Land to begin with. But, there are benefits to having a penis besides having sex. For example, urinating is nice. Also, not spending thousands of dollars on elective surgery.

And the five people who paid so much for the meal should clearly be arrested, or hospitalized.  Something is not right with them. Actually, being a vegan is becoming more and more attractive to me. Who needs cheese!? At least I won’t be tempted to eat sauteed dick with “button mushrooms and Italian parsley.” Those button mushrooms oughtta be ashamed of themselves.

Anyway, enough with cannibalism! I have much more exciting news to spread: the website for my web series has officially launched, with promises of airing the pilot episode this month! Many of you have been pretending to show interest for months now (over a year, actually…) and I’m sure it’s been exhausting. But alas! It’s finally upon us. Let’s hope to god it doesn’t suck, because we sure hyped it up enough.

www.thosewithclass.com is the website. Please watch the trailer, browse the website, let me know what you like and don’t like. Tell me if a link doesn’t work or if I have roasted foreskin something in my teeth in one of my pictures.

(and to the few blog readers who don’t actually know me, I’m the angry red head at the beginning of the trailer who eventually gets bitch-slapped by the end of it.)

Enjoy!